Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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