who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize