so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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