dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
