I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
