why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
