Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
