You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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