my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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