I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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