She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
someone owes me an orgasm
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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