I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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