I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize