I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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