Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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