talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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