HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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