The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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