her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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