Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
