He is an equal opportunity slut.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
