Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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(313): View more from Michigan

he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.

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(213): View more from California

My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.

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(979): View more from Texas

I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.

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(818): View more from California

Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again

(845): View more from New York

I give it a week.

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