I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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