i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
