okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
