he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
