OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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