and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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