Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
