You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
