I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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