its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
