some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
