I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
