my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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