normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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