Just cropdusted the office
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
