i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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