Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
