Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
