god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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