You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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