i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
that is very illegal...i love you.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
