you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
