Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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