Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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