best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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