You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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