We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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