there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
