So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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