Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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