What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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