I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
