If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
