i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
