We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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