I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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