my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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