She's JV to your varsity
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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