The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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