Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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