What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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