Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
