That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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