you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
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When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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