3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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